Photographs Missing from my Childhood | South London Family Photographer

I love looking back over old photographs from my childhood - I appreciate every single one of them. They mostly show the milestone moments, the achievements, the family holidays, and it makes sense that in an age where you couldn’t just pop your phone out for a photo whenever you fancied, my parents reserved the photo taking for special occasions. These ‘let’s get the camera out’ photographs are great to have, but I’m the missing moments in-between. The moments that offer a glimpse of how we really lived.

What did an average Sunday afternoon look like? What did we eat for breakfast? How did we play? How were we loved? When I come across a photograph showing something of our everyday life I’ll obsess over it for hours. Sometimes it’s not even the people that I’m interested in but the details surrounding them. These photographs fill in the gaps of my fading memories. Perhaps you feel the same? What are some of your favourite photographs from your childhood? How do they make you feel? Here are just a few photographs I wish I had more of…

The ordinary days

I would love to have photographs showing the ordinary days when nothing in particular was going on. The days when boredom inspired creativity. I remember my brother and I would draw on old butchers paper, create ‘mansions’ from old shoe boxes, or just spend hours hitting a tennis ball against a wall.

My girls will have photographs of the birthdays, the sports days and the school productions, but I want them to have more. I want them to have evidence of what they did on those ordinary days because these are the photos that will differentiate and define their childhood.

The rituals

When I was growing up, Friday night was ‘take-away night’ but I have no photographic evidence of this. It’s understandable, given that my parents were probably too busy eating, or umpiring disputes over who would get the last spring roll, to get the camera out! I would love to have a visual record of where we ate, what we ate, where we sat, the table, plates and the place mats (yep - we used placemats).

In my own family, Friday nights are ‘movie night’. It’s something we started during lockdown to give us something to look forward to at the end of the week. The photographs I’ve taken documenting what’s now become a weekly ritual won’t be framed and put on the wall, but they are hugely important. They’ll be a reminder of how we came together as a family during those challenging times, and I know my girls will love looking back at the little details they reveal, like their favourite movie night treats!

The routines

As parent myself, I’m often too busy getting through the days and the weeks to notice how our routines are developing and changing. They don’t seem like photo-worthy moments - breakfast time chaos, rushing out for school in the morning, homework, bath time, bed time - but photographs documenting these seemingly mundane activities are important because before we know it, they’ll be replaced by new ones. I don’t remember when I stopped having baths and started taking showers, or when I was able to make my own breakfast - I wish I had photographs to remind me.

I photograph our daily routines now because I know I’ll want to remember the details and I know these photographs will one day trigger memories that might otherwise be lost. They’re a bit like insurance - for both myself and my children.

The relationships

One of my favourite photographs from my early childhood is of my brother pushing my toddler self around the garden in a ride-on toy. My delighted face is covered in snot and dirt and the grit and determination of my brother to get some speed up is palpable. In most other photos I have, we’re standing a little awkwardly together, in our new school uniforms, with somewhat forced smiles. They show nothing of how we played together or how we felt about each other.

Early in my photography journey I would drag my girls out to flower fields and plead with them to sit or stand together in a pretty patch of light so I could replicate a photo I’d seen on social media. Sometimes they’d humour me but it wasn’t long before they could smell my desperation and would deliberately turn their backs to my long lens! I look back at those photographs now and they tell me much more about my photographic journey than about my girls or their relationship.

These days I photograph what’s unfolding in front of me. I’m trying to create an authentic record of their relationship - the moments showing their closeness, as well as the times when there’s distance, because all stages of their relationship are worth documenting. I know these photographs will be far more meaningful to them in the future because they are a true reflection of their sibling journey - not the Pinterest perfect version of it.

The special things

We all have memories of ‘things’ that were special to us growing up. Perhaps it was a teddy or a book, or like my eldest, a tatty looking comforter she’s had since she was a baby (well she’s actually on version 2.0 but let’s not go there)! Maybe you’re lucky enough to still have something that was precious to you as a child, stored in a box somewhere?

I had this little bejewelled, silk horse, a decoration from a Chinese department store we loved visiting when we lived in Hong Kong. I called it ‘Star Horse’ because it lived on my bedside table and scared away night time monsters. I have no idea what happened to Star Horse. I wish I had a photograph of that bedroom, with my beloved protector sitting on my night stand, something to sit alongside my fading memories.

the love

There is nothing more affirming than seeing someone’s love for you in a photo. I know my parents loved me - I just wish I had something tangible to look back on to remind me of that, especially now that I’m living on the other side of the world from them.

As the one who’s usually behind the camera, I have to make a special effort to make sure that I’m actually included in family photographs. It’s something I actually struggle with as it’s hard to take off the photographer hat and just be myself without worrying too much about the technicalities! I’ve actually set myself a little challenge this summer which will involve setting the interval timer on my camera up, or handing it over the my other half, on a daily basis. These photos won’t be ‘perfect’ but I will be in them and I know that in years to come that’s all my girls will care about!

What photos do you feel are missing from your childhood? Are you eager for your own children to have a visual record of their childhood that extends beyond obvious, photo-worthy moments? I can help you do this…